October 25 - Blind Trust

I am sometimes fascinated by the various meanings and connotations of the word “blind”. I remember when we were having new drapes and blinds fitted in our home. We needed to make an appointment with the blinds person. This was all at the same time I was having issues with my sight and was expecting an appointment with a blind person in a totally different context. I have since learned to put the person before the adjective. These days, I would arrange to meet either the person who installed blinds or the person who was herself blind. It’s always an interesting distinction.

I have titled this post "Blind Trust". Somehow or other those two words fit together so well. As a person with partial sight and who is sometimes referred to as being blind, I often need to put my trust in others. It is a giving up of control. For instance, when I am walking with a guide, I trust that guide to lead me safely past any obstacles. When I pay for items at the store or wherever, I optimistically expect that I will receive the correct amount of change. When I ask for directions, I have confidence that I will be pointed in the right direction. There is a definite measure of trust involved.

During the course of a day, there are many times when I need to put my trust in others. Generally speaking, I have found that when people recognize that I am in a difficult or confusing situation because of my sight challenges, they will go out of their way to be helpful. I find life easier when I can relax and depend on the kindness of human nature. It is a matter of blind trust.

October 11 - Who Is Here?

I belong to a support group for people who have sight challenges. Each month we gather around a large table. There are often around twenty of us and apart from the person sitting directly beside me, I can’t see enough to identify the others. That is why I find it so helpful when the meeting begins and the mic is passed around for each of us to say our name. I like to know just who is there.

This practice of saying aloud the names of other people in a group is fairly common in a group of people where most don’t see well. It is part of describing our surroundings and especially helpful when we would like to interact with the other group participants. The voices also give us a clue as to the size of the group. It’s more helpful than the leader just announcing the attendance or reading a list of names. Even on a zoom meeting, the personal identification of others on the call is helpful.

I also go to a drop in chair yoga class. Last week was my first time back after my stroke. The class usually spreads out around the auditorium and although I know that I know some of the others by name, I can’t see any of them. I was so pleased last week when for the first time, someone suggested that we go around the circle and each person said their name. That way we would all know who was there.

Because I self identify as someone with limited vision, my friends know that they need to say who they are when they meet me – especially when the encounter is unexpected. I appreciate this. It is equally as helpful when I am part of a group. I like to know just “who is there”.

 

October 3 - Vision and Technology

This past week I watched and listened to a demonstration of META glasses. These glasses are absolutely amazing. Unlike regular glasses where the lenses are magnified to enhance vision, the META glasses audibly describe what the user is looking at. Lenses can be fitted to the frames if necessary – for instance tinted lenses for sun protection, but the technology works without the addition. I suppose it is a little like the Be My Eyes on a Smart Phone, except instead of carrying a phone around all the time, the user wears the technology on the nose.

When it came my turn to try out the glasses, I was surprised that they were reasonably comfortable. In spite of the intricate technology built into the frame and arms, the glasses were relatively lightweight. I asked META to describe the person sitting next to me. META described a woman, with a description of her clothing and hair colour. The description included the fact that she was sitting with her hands clasped in front of her. It was strange to hear these details when I couldn’t actually see them for myself. I think that for the first time in a long time I felt a tinge of regret that I couldn’t also “see” the details of my friend’s face.

There was much discussion around the table as to the use of the META glasses. Nicole demonstrated how META could read a menu, listing the items and the prices. Verna was excited that she might read recipes for her home cooking. Chelsea thought that she could use the glasses to look in her mirror to see if she was wearing a matching outfit. Lynn told of her sister using the glasses to listen and record music and to connect with Facebook. I must admit that this particular technology with the connection to a Smart Phone and Facebook was a bit beyond me.

Since the demonstration, I have been thinking about the many technical advances that have been made over the years. When my sight changed back in 1986, I was mostly reliant on a black and white CCTV monitor. I am now using my third CCTV with a larger screen with colour and clearer definition of the print. I rely on an audible screen reading program on my computer.  Using only my voice, I send and receive text messages on my phone. I use a talking watch and alarm clock. In the beginning I listened to books on cassette tapes. That progressed to CD’s with digital format. Now my Victor Stream reader has the capacity of down loading audible books remotely at any time of day from the library in Toronto. My how times have changed.

One more point of note – initially, META glasses were created for the use of people with sight. They were a device created for fun and enjoyment. It is only in more recent times that their capabilities were found to be so useful for people with no or little sight. Now instead of being just a device for recreational use, the META glasses are a tool. The minds that work to create these new technologies are breaking down accessibility barriers.

With Thanksgiving coming up, I am thankful. I am grateful for a world that looks forward to a place of universal access.

September 25 - In the Kitchen

This past week I had coffee with my friend, Sue. Sue is completely without sight and we often chat about some of the challenges associated with this aspect of our lives. When we talk, I am often reminded that my challenges are minor compared to Sue’s. As well as having no sight, Sue’s husband passed away several years ago and she now lives alone. Over our last coffee chat, we spoke about the difficulties of managing in the kitchen.

For both of us, the stove seemed to be the biggest challenge. After a few minor burns, Sue has given up on using this. I am able to use our own kitchen oven and stovetop without too much difficulty but I also give up when we stay elsewhere with a different stove. That is when Lyle takes over the cooking!

One of the problems for me is the lack of tactile knobs on newer stoves. My own stove is an older version and so I can turn the knobs to temperatures by guesswork. I can’t do this when the surface is flat. The microwave also has a flat surface but on this I have attached little tactile buttons. A crockpot and air fryer are more easily manageable.

Cooking meat is also tricky. While it isn’t a health hazard if the vegetables are over or under cooked, meat is a different matter. If I am frying meat, I will often call Lyle to ask if there are still any red bits left in the pan. Sue doesn’t have the advantage of calling for someone with sight.  If I am alone and cooking meat, I will often put the whole meal in a casserole dish and give it that extra boost in the microwave.

It’s helpful to talk things out with other people who might experience similar challenges to my own. For instance, I remember discussing the problem of peeling and cooking potatoes. Sue’s solution was to buy small new potatoes that have no need of peeling. Norma, another friend with no sight, said that she would feel the outside of the potato to see if it felt smooth. If it was peeled  properly, the potato would feel smooth as opposed to the otherwise rough outer skin. I like the potatoes from our garden so I use this method.

In our chat last week, Sue and I also talked about transporting dishes from the kitchen counter to the table. It’s hard to do this if you have a cane in one hand and the dish in the other. Another friend with no sight solved this problem by using an old-fashioned tray mobile. She is able to put the dishes onto the moving cart and wheel them across the lino floor to the table. This friend also had a few mobility issues so it was a good solution for her.

I like talking over shared problems and solutions with friends who also have no or low vision. I have learned a lot from the ways that other people have adjusted and coped. This is especially so when it comes to working in the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

September 10 - Counting Steps

I often count steps. I do this in the same way as many people do. I use a step counter to keep track of how far I walk each day. Currently I am doing a virtual walk along the coast of New South Wales in Australia. I have found this to be hugely interesting as I have been to many of the spots along the way in real life. The most exciting point to date was at the halfway marker when I passed through Terrigal on the Central Coast. This is the town where Lyle and I return to for family visits in Australia.

This isn’t my first virtual walk. I started the walks as a solitary exercise back during COVID. I didn’t think that I would continue but here I am on walk #7.

I also count steps in a different way. As a partially sighted person I count steps because it helps me think of where I am. This is especially so on stairways. I count my steps going up and know that there will be the same number coming down. I know the number of steps in many familiar locations. There are fourteen steps to our basement. There are four steps leading into my sister’s flat. There are six steps leading to the downstairs area of the church we attend. I even remember that at a club where we often eat in Australia, there are 22 steps leading upstairs.

I have learned never to quite trust when other people tell me how many steps are in front of me. Their method of counting might not be the same as mine. For instance, I know that Lyle counts one step leading into our house, but I count it as two.

At a recent support group meeting, Chelsea told us that counting steps was a valuable tool for her. Chelsea has less sight than I do, but likes to be outside in her yard. She said that if she doesn’t pay attention and count her steps to orient herself; it is easy enough to be lost even there.

I often find myself counting steps – sometimes even when there is no real need to do so. Counting steps is a small strategy for someone with little vision. For myself, I find it a very useful tool with no other technology or device required.

September 1 – Sight, Speech and Fatigue

In the past, when people have asked me what I can see, I explain that I don’t see print and other details of central vision. This explanation usually suffices. Sometimes though I will go on to say that I don’t see as well in certain lights, or when I’m not feeling well, or when I’m tired. I know this to be true although I’ve never thought of putting any sort of measure to the phenomenon of fatigue.

With speech, this fatigue factor has been way more obvious. I might be conversing close to my pre-stroke normal speaking voice when out of the blue, my speech becomes quite broken and hesitant. Although I might not be feeling tired physically, I now know that this change is a sign of fatigue. It is my brain telling me that it has had enough and needs time to rest.

I am sure that this brain overload can happen in many ways and for many reasons. Most of us realize that our reactions are not as quick when we are tired. Now as I am recovering from the effects of my stroke, I have become more aware of this phenomenon.  I realize that I need to pay attention to the signals my body is giving me.

It has been a hard lesson for me. Although the words of a familiar song tell me otherwise, I have learned that I am not invincible. My brain does get weary of all the demands I make on it. The feeling of fatigue and the changes in my speech are a definite reminder that I need to take a break. Although it has been a hard lesson, it’s also been a, good one and I find that I am more balanced because of it. Giving in to fatigue, taking a time out and coming back refreshed is a good strategy for all of us.

 

 

 

 

August 15 - Benchmarks

Lately, I have been thinking about some of the major events that have marked changes in my life. Possibly, this train of thought has been brought about by my recent stroke. The stroke caused changes in my normal speaking voice but it also has caused me to think a little differently. After many years of good health, I am now more aware of my vulnerability to illness or injury.

To a certain degree, we all have these benchmarks. There is the thought that some things were true before the event and others not so true afterwards. There is a dividing line that marks some sort of change. On a personal level, I can think of a few instances. One major happy event was our wedding. I was single and then Lyle and I became a couple. Just over a year later, our first child was born and we moved from being a couple to becoming a family. In both cases, life was different before and after.

Not all changes are by our own doing. My sight loss was certainly nothing that I chose for myself. There was definitely a line between the day I was fully sighted and the next day when I became legally blind. I know that other people experience change or benchmarks that can have decidedly more dramatic and traumatic changes than my own. We must all play with the cards we are dealt.

It was as I was contemplating all this that I recalled the series of White Cane Connections walks across Canada. This was a significant event for me. Lyle and I entered this undertaking way back in 2012. In fact, on this date in that year we were in Ottawa ready to share with a group of CNIB staff about my personal experiences with vision loss and also the experiences we had had on our walks. That was a great year for me. We met so many people with so many interesting stories to tell. Perhaps you are one of them reading this right now! I have great memories of the shared times, the shared challenges and the courage of newfound friends who were daily coping with those challenges. The White Cane Connections walk was definitely a benchmark for me. The people I met changed my life for the better.