March 3 – Driving...or Not!

Recently I have been writing a short family history that I intend to give to our children. Actually, I began this project during COVID but as the restrictions were lifted and our days of isolation became fewer and far between, my writing ambitions decreased. It is only in the last couple of weeks that I have looked back on my project. One of the stand out topics seemed to be around driving.

In my youth, I loved driving. I loved being behind the wheel and the independence that came with it. I was the one who decided on direction, speed and destination. When I moved to Canada, one of my goals was to drive across the country.

As it turned out, fate intervened, and when Lyle and I finally made that trip in 2012, it was Lyle who did the driving as we began the White Cane Connections journey.

My sight changed quite suddenly in 1986. One day I was able to drive and the next day I couldn’t see well enough to be behind the wheel. It was a huge blow and definitely a life changer. For me, there was no question but that my driving days were over.

In view of my own experience, I have great empathy for other people who need to give up their driver’s license. I even have a pang of sympathy when they tell me that they know they shouldn’t be driving but still hang on to that small measure of independence. I say only a small pang because the question remains to ask how would they feel if they were to be an accident because of their failing sight. Some respond that they would take that chance. After all, it is their life to do as they wish. But then there is the second part of the question. How would they feel if someone else was involved in the accident. How would they feel, if for example, their vehicle hit a child, or anyone else for that matter. Giving up driving is a small price to pay.

I still miss driving. I miss the pleasure of being behind the wheel and the independence of having my own vehicle. However, as have many others in similar situations, I have learned to adjust. Basically, if you think that maybe you shouldn’t be driving then the solution is simple. Don’t!

 

 

February 21 - Blindness Demands

I like to read books about blindness. Sometimes they are memoirs and at other times they share new insights and medical updates.  I am especially interested in autobiographies and learning how different people react to blindness and vision loss. Perhaps that is even the reason that some of you are reading this blog.

The other day I came across a very interesting statement. The author of the book I was reading had had sight as a young man, lost his sight completely in his mid-forties, and after fifteen years of blindness, had his sight restored through a new surgical procedure. The comment that caught my attention was his perception that “blindness demands dependency and co-operation”.

I think that most people with partial or no sight would agree that not being able to see does indeed demand a certain dependency on others. How dependent we are might be influenced by our level of sight or just by our specific personality. I like to be as independent as possible but at the same time, my vision requires that I must rely on other people for certain things. For instance, I am unable to drive a vehicle, or read the flashing overhead menu at a fast food outlet, or read the directional signs at an airport. For these basic tasks I must rely on other people.

I think that the more important lesson to be learned with this dependency is one of courtesy, or as the author put it, of co-operation. When I rely on other people I know that I need to be even more aware of how I respond to them. I need to be on time if someone is offering to drive me somewhere. I need to say thank you if someone helps me with whatever it is that I am incapable of doing on my own. I need to be even a little more than just polite. I need to be gracious and grateful for the kindness of others.

In the book that I was reading, it was interesting to me that it was only after the author had experienced blindness that he was able to come to similar conclusions. Until his vision loss, he was accustomed to taking the people in his life for granted. When his sight was eventually restored, the lesson of co-operation, consideration and courtesy was a lesson he resolved to take with him in this phase of his life with regained sight.

 

February 9 - Vision Assistive Devices

Sometimes I can scarcely believe just how much technology has changed since my initial sight loss. At the time, finding devices or aides to help me “see better” was a real challenge. Mostly, I ended up with a drawer full of hand held magnifiers that did nothing to improve my ability to see print.

As you have likely realized from reading this blog, sight loss extends over a wide spectrum. Those of us who have limited sight don’t all see the same way. A device that works for one person might not necessarily work for another. For instance, at our last support group meeting Denis had brought an electronic magnifier. I am able to capture only one word using the magnifier and yet, Denis uses the device each night to read the local paper. I had brought along a set of large print playing cards. I need to hold these very close to see the print, but Carol was thrilled that she could see the print on the cards and could use them to play with her grandson. In turn, Carol had brought a Victor Reading machine to show the group. While this worked really well for her, the low volume was of no use to another two members who experience hearing loss. Nobody in our group reads Braille, but that would have opened up another avenue of assistive devices.

The good part about our meeting was that we were able to use the hands on approach to try out some of these small assistive devices. For someone with vision loss, and perhaps for anyone, it is very difficult to order something from a picture and a brief description in a catalogue.  Unfortunately with budget cuts, a few years ago CNIB found it necessary to close their sales rooms. This means that clients are no longer able to try out devices before purchase. Sharing in small group situations might be one way to partly overcome this deficit.

These days I feel fairly comfortable with the assistive devices that I use. I use an audible reading machine, an audible program on my phone and my computer. I have a CCTV reading machine and a hand held audible GPs. These devices and programs help me through my days of vision loss. However, the market is constantly changing and improving and I am always open to trying out new assistive devices and products.

 

 

January 31 - Describing Vision Loss

Last week, CNIB sent out a survey asking clients to tell what words they used to describe their vision loss to others. How did we describe our vision to other people? I was glad that the survey enabled us to choose multiple responses. I know that I have several ways to describe my vision loss.

At times I use the phrase, limited vision. At other times, I might say blind, or partial sight, or poor or low vision. Sometimes I use the term legal blindness and at other times I simply say that I don’t see very well. I think that I might be trying to phrase my response to align with the question I am being asked at the time.

For instance, on a recent flight with the passenger information form, the only box to indicate my vision was “blind”. So, I checked it. Yet, when we boarded the plane the flight attendant asked if I could see anything. Yes, I responded that I had partial sight. I suppose there was a difference between a legal form and the flight attendant needing to know how she could assist me during the flight.

My friends will sometimes ask me to be more specific about what I can or can’t see. Am I able to see their faces? NO! Am I able to see the tiny shiny object I might have dropped on the floor? Usually, yes. Am I able to see the six meter high stack of boxes in front of me? Often the answer to that is “No”. Am I able to see print? The answer to that one is a definite no. However, I have noticed that as I watch the weather on Global News, there has been a change in reporting some of the temperatures for the day. They are using very large print and occasionally I am able to catch the numbers on the screen.

So, what words do I use to describe my vision loss? I know that with CNIB’s survey, the agency is attempting to find the most accurate, inclusive and sensitive way to describe the vision of its clients, but personally I think that vision loss is maybe too varied to describe accurately with just one term. My hope is that this blog will shine some light on the variations of sight and vision loss.

 

 

January 20 - Ignorance

I struggled to find an appropriate title for this post. I thought about “insensitivity” or “stupidity” but finally settled on “ignorance”. However, let me set the scene for you and you can judge for yourself what it should be.

A year or so ago, I started to experience back pain. I found that walking support poles eased this pain and so I have been using walking sticks or poles – poles similar to those used in skiing. The poles have been the cause of a few friendly comments on my regular local walking path. This was evident last summer when a couple of people asked me if I had the seasons mixed up. For instance, did I know that winter had not yet arrived? Did I know that I was skiing on gravel? These comments were made in jest and I took them accordingly.

Now to the present! On our cruise, Lyle, Shirley and I went for several long walks at the various ports of call. I took my walking sticks. By the way, this is always a difficult call for me. The sticks are blue and unlike my white cane, don’t indicate that I am visually impaired. However, on with the story.

After one such excursion, we arrived back at the ship and were sitting on the dock with a few other passengers having a welcome drink of cold water. Suddenly the man sitting on my left turned to me and asked, “So, are you so lame that you need two sticks to walk with?” (The emphasis was on the word, “two”.

I must admit that I was stunned. This man had no idea of my mobility issues. Did he think that I used my walking poles for fun? Did he not realize that I might have been suffering from some debilitating condition that resulted in my poor mobility?

Shortly after his comment, the man got up and left our little group. Those of us who remained discussed his insensitive comment. Another passenger suggested that perhaps the man in question had tried to make a joke that fell flat. Personally, I couldn’t see it.

Sometimes, I have heard people make insensitive comments about my sight, but I must admit that this particular comment about my possible lameness or lack of  mobility nearly took my breath away.

So, what should I have titled this post? Ignorance, insensitivity, or stupidity? I leave it to you to decide.

January 14 - Ocean Wildlife Sightings

Last summer, Lyle and I went on an Alaskan cruise with our daughter and family.  It was great!  We spotted whales, porpoises, sea otters, and even a closeup of a Bald Eagle.  Now when I say “we”, I actually mean “they.”  All this wildlife was too far away for my eyes to see.  For me it was a vicarious experience as I listened to their excited voices describing each new sighting.

In November, while Lyle and I were on a family visit to Australia, we took an adventure cruise out of Port Arthur in Tasmania.  Lyle saw two whales breach right in front of our boat.  He saw sea lions and penguins.  He saw two Albatross, several eagles, and a multitude of other sea birds.  Although he assured me they were fairly close to our little boat, they were still too far away for me.  Nevertheless, with Lyle’s description I felt I could almost see it all.

Now today, I have my own ocean wildlife story to tell - I saw a stingray - close up!  We are in the Caribbean on a cruise.  My friend Shirley and I were standing thigh deep in the water when I heard a woman’s voice call out, “Stop. Don’t move, There is a stingray right behind you!”

Of course, I stopped, but I also turned in time to see a baby stingray brushing against my backside.  I would guess it was about sixty centimetres across.  It was astounding!  It all happened so quickly.  By the time Shirley turned around as well, the stingray had floated away.  Lyle was further up the beach and didn’t see anything either.  This was my own ocean wildlife sighting.

January 8 - Meet and Greet

Over the past few weeks, Lyle and I have attended more than our usual share of social functions. I like chatting with people and so it has been great. The hard part is not being able to recognize just whom I am chatting with unless they identify themselves before the conversation gets underway.

There are some people I can identify by the sound of their voice or even their laugh, and others have a distinctive aspect of their physical appearance, but by and large, I rely on people to tell me their name. It’s interesting to me that even when people know that I have limited vision, it doesn’t occur to them that I am unable to immediately see and recognize them. I am truly grateful to friends and acquaintances who don’t fall into that category and who identify themselves by name whenever we meet.

On the other side of the coin, there are those rather obtuse folk who, knowing of my limited vision, come up to me and say things like, “You must know who I am. Listen to my voice. Can you guess who I am?” I won’t write of my initial instinctive response to this kind of ignorance. I try to remind myself that my job is not to respond in anger but to try to educate. 

Once, when I was researching the history of education for people who are blind and partially sighted, I came across the following quotation.

“In order to educate the blind, we must first educate the sighted.”

In a way, I am hoping that is what I am doing with this blog. Until I became partially sighted myself, I gave little thought to the path taken by people who couldn’t see. I had never personally met someone who was blind and had no idea of what challenges were involved in his or her daily life. Hopefully the words of this blog can give a small insight into that world.

My very best wishes to everyone for a happy year in 2023. May we meet and greet each other with affection as we establish new relationships with one another.