June 14 - Follow-up

Following my last post, I had some interesting comments on my email. As you might recall I wrote that our thought processes are quite often prejudiced by our first visual impressions. It had not really occurred to me that I probably make similar judgements based on the sound I hear in another person’s voice.

Jill pointed this out when she wrote about the TV reality show, The Voice. Although I’m not especially familiar with this show, I gather that the four judges aren’t able to see the contestants when they audition but have to make their decision as to quality of the performance based on the voice alone. Jill wrote that as a viewer she found herself trying to anticipate both the appearance and personality of the performer based on the sound of the voice.

I suppose that I do a similar thing when I meet someone for the first time. Does the voice of the other person sound officious, too shy, impatient, too loud, too soft, accented, slurred, and the list goes on. What do I think when I hear these differences? I know that I often form an impression of another person based on their voice.

Taking this to yet another level – just this past week I heard another interesting comment. My friend, Joyce, was giving a blind friend a hug. Her friendship with this person was long standing but not close physically. As they hugged, the blind friend burst out, “Oh Joyce, I didn’t know that you were so short! I wonder if height and weight also influence our way of thinking about others?

I guess that touch – a handshake or a hug for instance – can also leave us with a first impression and perhaps an accompanying prejudice. For instance, I usually think of a limp handshake as a sign of a weak personality. Once, someone explained to me that perhaps the failure to crush my hand in a firm grip might be a sign of respect, or even warmth. In spite of this explanation, I find it difficult to rid myself of my initial reaction.

Truthfully I’m not sure where I am going with all this. I suppose that one personal outcome of my reflections is that I should be more cautious about judging a book by its cover. A second might be to strive more intentionally to create a good first impression when I meet others for the first time.