September 30 - Speaking Out

Speaking out is a two way street. It’s a responsibility for those of us who are sight challenged, but it’s also extremely helpful when people who are sighted speak out to alert us to their presence or offer assistance. 

This past month I have been relearning these two lessons. Lyle has been busy with September harvest and I have been coping with daily routine on my own. Now I know that many of you who are blind or partially sighted live alone and cope admirably well with the pattern of daily life by yourselves, but because Lyle and I usually do things together, I need to rethink things when I am alone.

I started the month with walks to the grocery store. After my first foray there when I bought the wrong kind of sandwich meat, a package of fish that wasn’t what I had really meant to pick out, and came away without a couple of other items that I couldn’t locate on the shelves, I remembered what I needed to do. I needed to speak out and ask for assistance. While I am pretty good at asking for help in anonymous places like airports and foreign cities, I found it more difficult to pluck up the nerve to ask for help in the local grocery store. A couple of unhelpful responses didn’t help matters. One store assistant advised me that next time I came shopping I had better bring my magnifying glass. Although I held my tongue with this comment, on the inside I wanted to trip her with my cane.

Thinking of two way streets reminds me of the story of the blind woman who was waiting near a busy street intersection. A very friendly and helpful Boy Scout type person came along and insisted on helping the blind woman across the street. Perhaps you have guessed the punch line. The woman had not wanted to cross the road at all. The intersection where she waited was the appointed spot where she was to meet a friend. Speaking out sometimes means graciously but firmly refusing help when it isn’t needed. This latter is often confusing for people who are sighted and want to help. I usually tell people that it is fine to offer assistance but not to be offended or take it as a personal insult if I refuse the offer and prefer to act independently.

I am nearly always perfectly fine in my own neighbourhood when I am out walking alone. I tend to walk on familiar routes and I use my cane with more purpose than when I am walking with someone else. My problem is that I tend to walk fairly quickly and so if someone is coming towards me, I won’t “see” them until they are almost on top of me. I do appreciate it when people speak or make some sound so that I know that we are nearing each other.

Let me tell you this story of the Monday before last. I was walking in the shop area when I suddenly heard someone whistling. The whistling was coming from above me. I stopped instantly. It was a good thing too. I was centimeters away from running straight into some scaffolding that had been erected since the last time I had walked the same route. I hadn’t detected the temporary structure because my cane had found its way into the empty space between the posts. I’m not sure if the fellow up on the higher level was whistling because he was happy or because he saw me coming with my cane. Regardless, I am quite sure that he was happy that I stopped when I did and didn’t send him tumbling to the ground.

There are many stories that could be told about the advantages of speaking out. Whether you are blind or whether you are sighted, I hope that you have found today’s post helpful and encouraging.