I have sometimes been asked what it feels like not being
able to see. (Being very sensitive to political correctness of that question, I
don’t think that anyone has asked me what it feels like to be partially sighted
or blind.) Anyway, this week I was giving some thought to all this. What does
it feel like to be blind or partially sighted? I came up with the following A
to Z list of my feelings. On any given day, I might experience only one of
these feelings or I might experience several. Of course this is a personal list
and if others were making the list for me they might have a different
perspective. What do you think?
Athletic. This is the way I would like to feel but in
actual fact, I just enjoy walking and swimming. I think that I am in reasonable
shape but I have had recent issues with my knee. Are the years catching up?
Blessed. I feel very blessed to have a wonderful
family and good friends.
Compassionate.
I often feel compassion for other people when I see them struggling with
some aspect of their lives.
Daring. I once wrote a piece about the daring
adventures of people who are blind or partially sighted. Some people accomplish
amazing feats of daring and adventure. For me, daring and bravado can be on a
much smaller scale. I don’t need to
climb mountains or run marathons. Sometimes crossing a busy road or walking
alone into a crowded room can be a daring adventure in itself.
Exhilarated or Exuberant. My kids will be the
first to tell you how excited I can be when something tickles my fancy.
Frustrated. Oh yes, the frustration builds when my
technical equipment – as especially my computer – goes haywire.
Generous. I’m not always feeling generous but I like
myself better when I am.
Happy. I feel happy most of the time.
Irritated. I feel irritated when someone fails to
return a phone call or answer an email. I am left wondering how much time I
should let elapse before I try again.
Just the same as most people – blind or sighted but with
similar challenges and successes.
Kind. I try to be kind and most of the time I feel
this way.
List oriented. I’ll bet that you never guessed this
one! I am very fond of making lists.
Motivated. Occasionally I am asked to give a
presentation as a motivational speaker. The interesting thing about this is
that while I endeavour to motivate others, I end up feeling motivated myself.
Nostalgic. This year has been one for nostalgia. Our
two grandchildren were born and more recently my mother passed away. All three
events have seen me looking back and reliving some of the good times of past
years.
Optimistic.
Generally speaking I tend to look on the bright side of things.
Passionate. When I am involved in a project I am
invariably passionate about it. It’s really the only way to go.
Querulous. Why? Some days, I just feel in a bit of a
prickly mood. No special reason - just a bit out of sorts.
Resigned. I am getting better at this. When things are out of my control and there
is nothing more I can do to rectify a situation, I try to resign myself to that fact.
Sleepy. Is being sleepy a feeling? I’m not sure, but
I do enjoy taking an occasional nap. This works well when we are
travelling. I can nearly always sleep on
long car drives or flights.
Tolerant. Every year I make a new Year’s resolution
to be more tolerant and hopefully some days during the year I live up to this
resolve.
Up, down, all around. Do you know the rhyme of the
Grand Old Duke of York?
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill and he marched
them down again.
And when they’re up they’re up, and when they’re down
they’re down, and when they’re only halfway up they’re neither up nor down.
Well, that’s me.
Mostly I’m up, but sometimes I’m down, and then there are the other
times when I feel somewhere in between.
Visually Impaired. Yes, I know that we are
encouraged to look on the positive half of the glass half full, but sometimes
when I can’t see what I want or need to see, I don’t feel the glass half full
of being partially sighted. I just feel the empty glass half of being visually
impaired.
Weary. I feel this way sometimes when my “to do” list
is too long for one day. Then I remind myself that tomorrow has another 24
hours in it and I can start all over again.
X-rated. I hope that the x-rated words that come to
my mind when I am really angry aren’t ever expressed out loud.
Young. Maybe not physically young any more but young
at heart is good too.
Zest. No
matter the other feelings, I always have a zest for life!
So, have you ever felt any of these same feelings? My next
question is – are you blind or are you sighted? You see, I don’t think that it
makes a huge difference. Whether we are blind or sighted, we are all just
people. In some ways we are all the same and in other ways, we are just a
little different. If you are a list
person like me, you might like to make up your own list. It’s an interesting
exercise in self-reflection.
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