Now, as I said, this post is about the smaller picture and the question is this. Who takes the first step in offering or asking for help? For me, it is a matter of balance. I don’t usually take offence when friends offer assistance but I am sometimes surprised by what is offered and the manner in which it is offered. For instance, the other day I was having lunch with a friend. Before the meal, my friend asked if I needed her to cut my meat for me. I was surprised because nobody had ever offered this assistance to me before. However, my friend had asked this in a caring way and I was able to respond that maybe she could just help by reading the menu for me.
On another note, I often walk with friends on a trail by the river. My friends will usually let me know if there is ice, rain puddles or other obstacles on the trail. I am quite pleased that they think to warn me of these hazards. I wouldn’t be as pleased if they grabbed my arm to pull me aside. I strongly dislike being pulled or even more especially, pushed when someone attempts to so called “guide” me. Pushing or pulling tends to make me lose my balance.
I know that I am a bit sensitive when others comment on my lack of sight. I also know that it must be difficult for other people when they are really just trying to be helpful. I do try to be gracious. I am most appreciative when the offer to help is just general. For example, “Is there anything you need?” Or, “Do you need any help?”
Finally, I recognize my own role in all this. If I need help, I must ask for it. It isn’t enough for me to hope that others will be mind readers. I need to say what it is that I need. In the larger picture, I am fairly passionate about advocating on behalf of people who are blind or partially sighted. I often need to remind myself that I need to also advocate for myself in terms of the smaller everyday picture.
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