It has now been more than thirty years ago since the sudden change in my sight, but several things from that time stand out in memory. One of these was the comment of a friend. She suggested that I shouldn’t feel too badly because my sight loss was nothing compared to that of some other people who had managed to cope very well with complete loss of sight. What was my partial vision loss compared to total blindness! While my logical mind accepted this, my friend’s comment was not in the least helpful or comforting in the time of my emotional turmoil and distress.
Then, the other week, a friend told me of her experience on becoming a widow. At the lunch following the funeral service, another widow of several years approached her. This person said that now my friend could be just like her and join the widow’s circle, and wasn’t she glad that she had had so much time with her late husband. The comment did nothing to alleviate the loss and grief that my friend was feeling at the time. It wasn’t at all helpful to compare her loss and grief with the other person’s.
While these two events are specific to the past, they can also highlight how differently many of us are reacting to the present pandemic. Certainly, we are all in this together, but how this same event affects each of us can be quite different. The isolation for some of us might be a cause for depression. Others might be viewing this as a time of reflection. Some may be alone and lonely while others are basking in more quality time with friends or family. The event is the same but one person’s response may well be quite different from that of another.
Perhaps we can all try to be more accepting. Let’s try not to dismiss the feelings and coping strategies of others. Let’s not make comparisons. Maybe we can all just try to be kind to each other.
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