February 16 - Sight Ambiguity

Recently while listening to the audio version of Travelling Blind, Adventures in Vision With a Guide Dog by My Side by Susan Krieger, I came across the term partial blindness. I was surprised because the politically correct term of the day seems to be partial sight. This latter wording is supposed to give a positive spin on what a person can see rather than on the lack of vision. Neither term is precise, and it seems to me that neither are especially helpful in defining what it is that someone can or can’t see.  There is a wide range of vision between total blindness and full sight. The in-between of partial sight or partial blindness can be vague, fluctuating and by definition, ambiguous.

Krieger had an eye condition known as birdshot. Birdshot is the common name for an uncommon condition. The technical term is Birdshot Chorioretinapathy. Years ago, I met another woman with this same eye disease. Both women told of the frustration and ambiguity of being able both to see and not to see.

Birdshot is so labelled because the pinpricks of lack of sight are scattered over the retina like birdshot from a shotgun. The beginning symptoms are large floaters and blurred vision. Taken by themselves, these two symptoms could be the beginning of several other eye conditions. However, as the condition progresses other symptoms emerge and a diagnosis can be made. When I looked up Birdshot, I read that it occurs mostly in white individuals, but interestingly, the first person I met with the condition was a person of colour.

Often, there isn’t a particular explanation for what happens in our bodies. My own eye condition is described as genetic but nobody else in my family is afflicted. There are a number of eye conditions that have vague and undulating symptoms or ill-defined causes. Sometimes these symptoms prevent central sight and at other times, peripheral vision is obscured. Sight may be patchy or cloudy. It is rare for vision to go from full sight to complete lack of sight. Thus the ambiguous nature of partial sight.

In another book, What to Look For in Winter, by Candia McWilliam, the author had perfect sight but was unable to see. McWilliam had a condition known as  blepharospasm. Her eyes could see perfectly but when the eyelids drooped shut it made sight an impossibility. McWilliam was only able to see when she used her fingertips to pry her eyelids open. She struggled with the ambiguity of being both able to see and being basically blind.

It is this uncertainty of sight that makes life so difficult for the person who has this limited vision. Are we partially blind or partially sighted? I am grateful for what I can see and over the years have become accustomed to dealing with what I can’t see. I am not sure that I will ever be able to fully explain this ambiguity in sight to others, but I hope that this post has been helpful.