June 11 – Vision Loss Balancing Act

There is a fine line between asserting one’s independence and accepting help when it is needed. It is a balancing act and I must admit that I sometimes fall short of the ideal.

Last weekend, Lyle and I were sharing a picnic lunch with our son and his family. It was hotdogs, smokies, salads and the usual picnic fare. While the others were outside spreading out plates, condiments, drinks and so forth, I was inside heating some beans. When these were ready, and rather than negotiate the five steps to the ground, I called for assistance to carry out the hot pot. Our daughter-in-law came running to help. She noticed that I was also holding a small plate with two hot dog buns and offered to carry them as well.

I should have listened. Instead, I shrugged off her offer and insisted that I would be fine. Famous last words!

Now in our kitchen at home, I am reasonably certain that I know where most things are on the table. There is order to the meal items and less movement around the kitchen. Also, family know my limitations. That day, I wasn’t prepared for the confusion of the outdoor picnic table and benches with people milling about with their wiener sticks.

You will be pleased to know that I did make it down the five steps to the outside but then I tried to place my two little wiener buns on the table. I miscalculated. Instead of finding an empty spot, the plate landed on a full glass of pop. When I tried to recover the glass, I managed to pull on the table cloth. Sticky Pop, and ice cubes went everywhere – on other items on the table and spilling over onto the picnic bench. Our son leapt out of the way as the mess landed where he had been sitting. There was a moment of stunned silence as we all tried to take in what had just happened.

Nobody said anything. What was there to say? We all knew that the accident was just that I couldn’t see what I was doing. I apologized but in my head, I knew that I wasn’t apologizing for being clumsy, but rather that I hadn’t accepted Laura’s initial offer of help.

Just the other day, someone said to me that it wasn’t the big things we struggle with in our journey of vision loss but rather the everyday little things. It is those little things and decisions that sometimes trip me up. When do I need to assert my independence and when do I need to accept or even ask for help. Yes, it is a daily balancing act for sure.