February 22 - The Magic Stick

I have been thinking about the various misconceptions surrounding white cane use.  My white cane is an invaluable asset when it comes to my mobility, but it doesn’t have the magical power to show me everything that I need to see. I was contemplating this when I came across an old file. I wrote the following a few years back after an experience at airport security. If you read on you might see what I mean:

I was going through airport security last week when I fumbled. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I have been through airport security many times in the past so I know the routine. I try to be very methodical. Before I approach the counter, I have already emptied my pockets. My shoulder strap purse is zipped and ready, as is my backpack. My shoes are single knotted and ready to slip off if requested. Still, this time was slightly different.

The airport was busy. Many of the passengers from my original flight were transferring to other flights and we had all been required to exit and re-enter the secure area. I tried to ignore the confusion around me and stick to my own routine – backpack first, then the container with my purse, folded white cane and shoes. However, the security personnel were also hurrying, and before I had the opportunity to remove my shoes, my other belongings were snatched away from me and sliding under the X-ray machine.

By the time I had readied myself and turned towards the door of the metal detector, I couldn’t quite place the position of its open frame. I stood uncertain.

I still feel a little foolish when I experience this sensation of being lost. I also feel a growing panic if the situation does not soon resolve itself. In this case, I was not left to flounder for long as the queue behind me was growing. Hands guided me through and I found myself standing on the other side searching for the few belongings from which I had been parted.

I was vaguely feeling for these when a friendly woman handed me my folded cane.

“Here,” she announced in a smiling voice.  “You’ll need this to see.”

Do you see the irony of this statement? My cane is an excellent mobility tool but it isn’t helpful for other visual tasks. Nevertheless, I thanked the woman as graciously as I could for her offer to help and continued to touch the items on the counter in front of me. How could this well wisher ever imagine that a white cane, folded or otherwise, would assist me in “seeing” my belongings?

There are many misconceptions about a white cane, and although it is a definite assistive tool for many people who are blind or partially sighted, it is not a magic stick.

 

 

February 11 - Travelling Fun

Travelling can be so much fun and for the past couple of weeks, that is what I have been doing...travelling that is! Maybe I haven’t left the house, but my trips have been fun just the same. Please let me explain.

My travelling experiences began with a phone conversation with my friend, George. As we chatted George told me how he had been to the local motor association to collect some maps of Canada and the US. When I wondered why he would need these, he said that because real travel isn’t recommended right now, he wanted to retrace some of the road trips that he had taken with his wife, Jean. George and Jean were great RV travellers and the conversation got me thinking about some of the road trips that Lyle and I have done in the past. 

In particular, I remembered the three summers that Lyle and I bundled up our two young children into our small motor home, bunk beds, a cramped kitchen and a bike strapped to the back bumper, and set off for San Diego where Lyle was to do a summer university course. Our trips were in the summer and George and Jean were winter snowbirds, but our itineraries had much in common. It was good to remember. George still likes the idea of travelling. If it wasn’t for COVID, no doubt he would be cruising the Caribbean this month. Instead, at age 94, he is retracing memories, and oh yes, he is also doing a virtual walk along the Santiago Trail in Spain. George, you are an inspiration!

My next travel experience was only a few days later when Lyle and I were flipping through the TV channel guide. Lyle came across a program featuring cruise ships. Now in the summer of 2020, Lyle and I had planned to take a Baltic cruise. Obviously this was put on hold, and this past year, we were disappointed when we needed to cancel. I am quite sure that we will cancel again this year. In the meantime, the TV program of this past week followed the exact itinerary of the cruise that we had so carefully chosen nearly two years ago. It was great to see the different ports of call – Copenhagen, Talin, St. Petersburg, Berlin, and Stockholm. Not only that, this week we did it all in just one hour instead of the proposed twelve day cruise. Nevertheless, I am still hopeful that we will be able to take our chosen cruise in real time in 2023.

The highlight of my fortnight of travel was again a phone call – this time with my sister, Jill. I mentioned to Jill that since I had completed my UK virtual walk, I was now walking on the Cabot Trail. Jill, who lives in Australia, remembered a trip of years ago when together we had travelled to eastern Canada. I had only vague memories but Jill, who is diligent about recording her trips with both photographs and diaries, pulled out the appropriate travelogues. As she read her journal entries, we spent a great hour or so reliving that memorable trip. We began in London, Ontario where daughter Jennifer was studying and headed south. So far we have covered Niagara Falls, Boston, Salem, Maine, Halifax, the Cabot peninsula and PEI. On our next phone call, Jill has promised to read about our time in Quebec City and Ottawa. I can hardly wait.

Although this kind of memory and virtual travelling isn’t quite as much fun as the real thing, it is relatively inexpensive, worry free. and I haven’t even had to leave the house. I know that Lyle and I are fortunate to have seen all the parts of the world that we have done. Still, I am looking forward to the time when I can once again pack a suitcase and hit the road. Travelling is so much fun!

There is a picture with this post. The sun is shining and the Caribbean sky is blue. I am sitting on the sea wall in the foreground. A large cruise ship is in the background. Oh, those were the days! So many memories! Hopefully we will be travelling again soon.

 

Sue in front of a large cruise ship

 

 

 

February 2 - A Dangerous Sport

I’ll bet that you have never thought of five pin bowling as being a dangerous sport. Well, neither had I ...until this past weekend that is.

It was our granddaughter’s sixth birthday and the party was to be held at the local bowling alley. Lyle and I were going along as grandparents in an additional supervisory capacity. Our daughter, Jennifer gave the kids three rules. Remember to take turns, try not to drop the ball, and have fun.

It was going well until I took a turn to bowl. At this point I should tell you that the bowling lanes were in semi-darkness. I think that this was supposed to add ambience to the otherwise more sterile atmosphere. However, darkness severely limits my vision. Also, we were all wearing face masks. Although I agree that face masks are necessary in these COVID times, the mask does seem to restrict what I am able to see. This might all add some explanation to what happened next.

I stood beside the row of balls and as I reached down to take one at the end of the row, I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye. It was another ball coming back to join the row. Fortunately, I was in time to whip my hand back and save my fingers from being crushed as the two balls slammed together.

Unfortunately, I already had a partial grasp on my intended ball and when I pulled my hand out of the way, that ball came too. I knew instantly that I didn’t have a firm enough hold and the ball was going to drop to the floor. Whoops! There went Jennifer’s second rule of the day.

However, the ball didn’t make its first contact with the floor. Instead it landed squarely on my big toe. I suppose it could have been worse. Those bowling balls are heavy. I could have ended up with a broken bone in my foot. Instead, Lyle tells me that my toe is now a delightful shade of black and blue with the promise of green and yellow still to come.

Bowling does have some inherent hazards for someone with limited vision. Nevertheless, I’m sure that I am ready to try it again. Perhaps next time I will find a bowling alley with lighted lanes and maybe enlist the assistance of a sighted guide.

 

 

 

 

January 24 - Standing Corrected

I stand corrected. After my last post, Darlene told me that our pose in the photo was actually a warrior stance. She thought that this was appropriate for someone trying something new. I must admit that I am quite hazy on the labels attached to the different yoga positions.  Mostly I am just trying to keep my balance.  

As well as standing corrected, I wonder if sitting corrected can also be an expression. At our session on Friday, there were a couple of times when I was seated as Chris, our instructor adjusted my foot position to suit the yoga pose.

I would much prefer being corrected than to blunder along making the same mistakes over and over again. Thanks Darlene and thanks Chris.

Today I also want to thank Andrew who proof reads my ramblings before he posts them on this blog. Andrew, you are a great son-in-law.

 

 

January 22 - Something New

Not so long ago, I was speaking on the phone with my friend, Darlene. We talked about what was going on in our lives since we last spoke and Darlene happened to mention that she had recently started attending a chair yoga class. She felt the exercises were beneficial for her. Then, and this was key for me knowing that I no longer drive, she offered to pick me up if I wanted to attend the class with her.

I was hesitant. I felt a little nervous about jumping into something new, especially as that something new was in person. Would I be able to see and understand the instructor? Would he give enough verbal cues so that I would be able to follow directions without actually being able to see? How would I feel about walking into a room where I didn’t know the set up? Would I even be able to find a chair without tripping? I already knew that I wouldn’t want to draw attention to myself by walking with my white cane over the flat floor surface of the auditorium. The final consideration was COVID. Basically, Lyle and I haven’t been anywhere with a group of people in the last nearly two years. We are both double vaccinated and have had our booster shots, but would I feel safe in this new setting?

In the end, I decided to give it a try and last week I attended my first session. Darlene was great. She introduced me to the instructor and I explained that I had limited sight. At this point, Darlene and Chris made sure that I had the chair closest to the instructor – although still maintaining the six feet apart ruling. The lights had been dimmed on the outside of the circle of chairs. I was a little intimidated by this but felt more secure once I was seated.

I was glad that Chris started the session with breathing exercises. This beginning really helped to calm my anxiety and by the time he segued into the first exercise I was able to concentrate on the various movements. The movements were aimed at strengthening the different body parts and improving balance. This might sound very basic to those of you who have taken yoga before, but it was all new for me.

As for my questions! Well, I did feel safe in this in person setting. Darlene guided me to a chair and Chris gave excellent verbal directions. I did have some trouble understanding one exercise which involved some sort of foot roll, but otherwise, I think that I did okay. At the end of the one-hour session I felt quite relaxed and more confident about fitting in with the rest of the class participants.

This past Friday I attended my second session. It is exciting to be looking forward to something new and I am grateful to Chris for his excellent directions and to Darlene for encouraging me to move out of my comfort zone.

There is a picture with this post. Darlene and I are standing in the beginning of a yoga tree pose – at least I think that is what Chris called it. We are standing with our feet slightly apart. Our feet and upper torsos are turned slightly to the side. Our arms are stretched out to the side. I learned yesterday that my arms can get quite heavy if I hold them out for any stretch of time.  From my initial experience, I think that yoga can be a good work out. I think I will go back again!

 

 

Darlene and Sue in tree pose

 

January 13 - Partial sight

Not so long ago, a friend asked if I had central or peripheral vision. I had to ponder this before I could answer. While the question was absolute, the answer was not so clear-cut. I tried to explain this to my friend but partial sight isn’t easy to define.

Sight is difficult to explain. How could I tell my friend that while I might see well enough to pick out a shiny piece of paper on the floor, yet I might not see the side of a truck parked across my pathway. I suppose that for the most part I don’t have central vision. I can’t see the print on a page or the expression on someone’s face, but this doesn’t mean that my peripheral vision is clear either. I see differently from each eye and differently again from each part of the eye. I think that I see more clearly from the lower part of my eyes because I find that wearing a face mask cuts down on that part of what I see. Having said that, often I don’t see small objects – fire hydrants, dogs, little children – when they are right in front of me.

I see better, or at least think that I do, in familiar surroundings. Perhaps my brain is just telling me that I can actually see what I know to be there. I don’t see as well if I am tired or unwell. I see bright contrasting colors more easily than muted tones. I see better in bright lights but am often confused by shadows. I wonder if what I see is a flat image or actually a solid shape.  Lyle is often startled when I jump at shadows.

I think that the range of terms we use to describe partial sight is another indicator of the difficulty in defining vision. We use terms like limited sight, visually challenged, partial blindness, partial sight, legal blindness, low vision, vision impairment, and sometimes, just blindness.

Recently I read a book where the author had completely lost her sight due to an injury. However, after a prostheses was inserted into the one eye she regained light perception in the other. She was able to distinguish between light and dark. She could tell if the lights in the room were turned on and could see whether it was night or day. How would you describe her sight? Because she could see something, was she blind or could she see? Would partial sight adequately describe her condition? If so, could we use that same term of partial sight to describe what I can see which is far more than light perception?

It is a conundrum! The vagaries of sight are definitely individual. Vision can be measured by the tools in the office of an optometrist or ophthalmologist, but the lived experience of partial sight is obscure to be sure.  Partial sight can only be measured on an individual basis and is also measured by how that individual deals with the uniqueness of his/her partial vision.

 

January 4 - Braille

What do you know about braille? I confess that my own knowledge of braille is basically theoretical. Sure, I know that the series of six little raised dots can be arranged in specific patterns to represent the letters of the alphabet, but as to practical use, I am a klutzy novice.

I have never been able to master the braille alphabet myself. This was in spite of the rather abrupt direction of the first ophthalmologist I consulted when my sight changed. In no uncertain terms, he told me that there was nothing he could do for my sight and that I should go home and learn braille. This wasn’t quite the empathetic response I needed at the time and I’m afraid that his advice floated over me in the emotional upset of my sight loss.

Although the system of braille dots itself has remained basically unchanged over the past couple of hundred years since Louis Braille conceived of the idea, the technology has advanced dramatically. No longer do people with sight impairments need to struggle with slate and stylus. There are braille keyboards and braille electronic notebooks and other modern braille devices. If you are interested, you can check some of these out on the Humanware website:

Humanware.com

I have written this post today because it was on January 4, 1809 when Louis Braille was born. Today the date is celebrated internationally as World Braille Day.