October 25 - Please Pass the Butter

After a three day family weekend, we were finishing up with Sunday brunch. Our son had cooked the pancakes and bacon and our daughter-in-law had prepared the fruit and other fixings. We were all relaxed and the conversation was easy. Then daughter Jennifer looked up and asked, “Mum, could you please pass the butter?”

My eyes scanned the table in an attempt to locate the position of the butter dish.  Where was it? There was a break in the chatter as the others silently watched my effort to locate the elusive dish. Then Lyle reached over in front of me and passed the dish across the table to Jennifer.  Everyone let out their breath and burst out laughing. “Good call, Dad,” said our son. It had been clear to one and all that my inability to see had made it impossible for me to comply with Jen’s innocent request.

This is what I love about my family. They are both mindful and forgetful of my poor vision. They don’t put my vision at the forefront of our interactions. I am fortunate to have several close friends who are able to walk this balance between care and concern and a measure of protectiveness.

Please pass the butter. I love it! For the instant of forgetfulness on Jen’s part, I was just one of the family without need of any special considerations. When it was obvious that I didn’t have the ability to see and comply, the mindfulness kicked in, Lyle passed the butter and we were back to a normal family gathering again.

October 16 - Bluffing!

My long time friend and I were having a leisurely coffee chat about this and that when Shirley reminded me of some of the aspects of my initial reactions to my vision loss. In particular Shirley, remarked of how I used to try to bluff my way through situations that really required sight.

Bluffing or faking it is not unusual for people who are experiencing vision loss. I know that in my early years of impaired sight, I was pretty good at this way of coping. I’m not really sure why I wanted to keep up the pretense. Possibly, I just didn’t want to talk about my change in circumstance. Possibly I just wanted to go on being just like everyone else. I know that I had an abhorrence of thinking that others might look on me with pity. Possibly, I thought that if I stuck my head far enough into the sand, this whole vision loss thing would turn out to be just a bad dream.

Although I was good at pretending, this coping behaviour wasn’t especially productive. For instance, when someone asked me to look at something – a photo, some printed information, some distant scene, or whatever, I would simply nod and smile. I wonder now what I was missing out on. In retrospect, it would have been far simpler to admit that I couldn’t see and ask for an explanation of whatever was being pointed out to me.

Lyle and I are church goers, and although this should have been one of my safest environments, I went for a number of years trying to bluff my way through Sunday services.  I would always accept a hymn book and a printed bulletin. Standing in the pew, I would open the book at some random page and hold it in front of me. I have a pretty good memory and was able to sing most of the hymns. I think that the change came one Sunday when Lyle reached over and turned the book from its upside down position to the right side up.

Looking back, I wonder just how many people I was fooling. I think of the old saying that you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Today, I wonder why I even tried. Certainly life is easier now that I have emerged from this stage of denial.

These days I have learned to be appreciative of the helping hands of my sighted friends.  Now that I’m not hiding behind the facade of bluff and pretense, I feel more comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully I have also become more gracious and accepting of help when it is offered.

 

October 7 - Horror Stories

In my last post, I wrote that some airline passengers who were visually challenged had some unfortunate experiences when they were travelling alone. Since then, several people have asked what those experiences might have been. The people who asked this question all had sight and they told me of their own hard luck travel experiences of delayed flights and lost luggage. How then, they asked, did the experiences of passengers with sight difficulties vary from this?

From what friends tell me, and from my own experiences, I think that the most stressful part of solo travel for a visually impaired person is being left alone without a guide or point of reference. I have been left twice. The first time I was actually at the original boarding gate. However, the gate was changed and in spite of initial reassurances that I wouldn’t be forgotten, I was! I became agitated when I heard the final call for my flight and I wasn’t on it! When I managed to flag someone down, everyone was most apologetic.

The second time I was left alone at the end of a tunnel in Toronto. There was to be an exchange of guides but the first guide left me and the second one didn’t show up. Knowing that I could have easily wandered out onto the tarmac, there was great consternation when a baggage handler finally found me. Both of these instances were prior to 9-11 and the additional security following that date.

When I write of horror stories, I instantly recall hearing of the young woman who was left on the aircraft after the plane had landed. She was told to wait in her seat and someone would assist her after all the other passengers had disembarked. This is the usual practice. However, nobody came and the next thing the woman heard was the air circulation shutting down and the doors closing. She was alone and indeed stayed that way for several hours until the maintenance crew came along to clean the plane. Now that is a horror story to beat most tales of woe. Personally, I think that she should have been given a free travel pass for life but I understand that she did at least get an apology.

My friend, Norma, told me of her strange experience. Norma was travelling with her guide dog and in spite of showing her travel documents several times to ground agents and officials while being guided to her flight, she was put on the wrong aircraft.  Norma protested at the time, but nobody seemed to listen. However, before takeoff, there was a great kafuffle and another blind passenger was led onto the same plane with her guide dog. The ground crew had mixed up the two women and put the other passenger on Norma’s flight. While Norma is Caucasian and of average height, the other passenger was a petite Asian woman. Both were travelling to entirely different destinations but both had guide dogs. Yes, just because we are blind, does not mean that we are all the same!

I think that in some instances it could be quite stressful to travel with a canine guide. Just last spring, my friend Sue was led on board to find that the seat numbers were different from the ones she had booked. There simply wasn’t enough space under the seat for her guide dog. The crew was unhelpful and both Sue and Button became agitated and stressed. Finally, when Sue stood up and declared that she simply couldn’t fly with the airline arrangements, a double seat was found in the rear of the plane. By this time, Button was just as stressed as Sue and simply refused to move from the place where she had collapsed in the aisle. As a last resort, the pilot himself came back and carried the dog to the new seat. Sue has great trepidations about flying again.

Well, some of you had asked, and so these were a few of the horror stories I referred to. I could go on, but I think that you get the drift.

Please, if you are travelling and see a white cane or guide dog traveller, don’t be afraid to offer assistance. Although I don’t always need the extra help, I am always grateful for the offer.

September 29 - Visually Impaired Airline Passenger

It has been a few years since Lyle and I have needed to travel separately.  Usually we try to coordinate our various commitments but this last time it just didn’t work out.  In the end, Lyle took our luggage and drove and I booked a flight to follow several days later.

As the day of my flight drew nearer, I must admit  to a few nervous butterflies.  I wasn’t worried about the flight itself. I knew what to expect - preboarding, establishing the location of the nearest emergency exits, and locating the nearest washroom.  Then sit back and relax from takeoff to landing.  No worries there!  However, it was the time spent on the ground that was my concern.

My first worry point was the checkin.  My friend, Shirley, was to drop me off at the terminal doors.  What then?  As it turned out I had taken only a dozen steps or so before a ground agent noticed me and approached to offer his assistance to check me in for the flight.

I had three separate guides before I finally boarded the plane.  Debbie, who took me through security, explained that she had attended a class to learn how to assist passengers with special needs.  I was pleased to hear that.  I know that assistance has certainly improved over the years I have been travelling.

My second worry spot was the time on the ground waiting for my connecting flight.  It wasn’t all that bad but things didn’t go quite as smoothly as boarding the first leg.  For starters, the ground agent  wasn’t there to meet my plane in Vancouver.  Fortunately some of the flight crew stayed with me until they rounded someone up.  This particular agent was rushed. In spite of my request for him to point out the nearest washroom, he had me at my next gate without pointing out the washroom location.  When I again repeated my request, he gestured back down the terminal hallway, saying that if I got as far as the escalator I had gone too far.  When a fellow passenger overheard this unhelpful exchange, she volunteered to guide me back to the washroom.  Thanks, Shelley!

I have heard numerous horror stories from blind and visually impaired airline passengers but my trip last week went fairly easily.  The experience did remind me of things to keep in mind when travelling alone.  First, I need to be alert to my own travel needs, and when necessary, be vocal in expressing them.  Secondly, I need to be ready to ask for assistance and be gracious in accepting it.

Thankfully, last week’s solo experience has reinforced my confidence as an independent visually impaired airline passenger.

September 20 - What Colour Is This?

The seasons are changing and I am gradually changing my wardrobe to go along with the cooler temperatures. I don’t have much trouble with this in the spring when I switch to neutral toned shorts and multi coloured tops, but the winter pants are a different story. Black, brown, navy, dark grey or dark green  – they all look the same to me. I am often asking Lyle, “What colour is this?”

In the early days of my vision loss, I remember once when a friend asked if I could still see colours. I responded with great confidence that yes, I could. “For instance,” I said.” I can see that you are wearing a green sweater.”

There was a moment of silence until my friend corrected me by saying that her sweater was actually blue.

I like bright primary colours and I wear them whenever I can. Now if I could just talk Lyle into wearing some of those same colours perhaps I might be able to pick him out in a crowd!

I have known some people who have been colour blind. Not being able to distinguish between red and green is a challenge, but once I met a woman whose world was seen only in black, grey and white. Connie told me that she thought she might be able to see some shades of yellow.  When friends told her that something was yellow, she thought that she could discern some difference from her black and white world.  Now that is truly colour blindness.

There is a battery operated device on the market that will read colour aloud. I experimented with this once but thought it was unreliable for the different shades of colours and obviously didn’t work on multi coloured stripes and patterns. This was a few years ago and likely there have been some improvements in the technology. I do have a couple of friends who use the device and as they have no sight, it is certainly better than braille or other tactile labelling on clothes.

So, what is the solution? For me the key is organization. I hang my clothes in colour sections. While sighted people might hang pants in one section, tops in another and so on, I hang all the blue clothes together, all the brown in another part, etc. In my drawer I have two rows of socks. I can tell the difference between black and white and those are the only two colours I buy.  While mismatched socks are one thing, mismatched shoes could be more obvious to someone with sight. Once I spent a whole day wearing a blue shoe on one foot and a black on the other. They were the same style but apparently very different colours. I was saved embarrassment during the day as Lyle didn’t tell me of my mistake until we were home in the evening.

People who are blind or partially sighted need to make all sorts of adjustments to living in a world geared to sight. Fortunately as the fashion world evolves, our choices of colour no longer stand out as mistakes, but rather as individual fashion statements. What colour is this? The answer matters only to the individual.

 

 

 

 

 

 

September 12 - Cataracts

Cataracts! The most obvious symptom of cataracts is blurred vision.  This is caused by a cloudiness on the lens of the eye. Of course, blurred vision might be related to a multitude of other eye conditions and the only way to have a positive diagnosis is to see an optometrist or ophthalmologist. 

Lyle and I have been reading up on the subject. In fact, Lyle has just had his second cataract removed. It has been an interesting experience for him. The first procedure went relatively smoothly, although his eye felt quite gritty for a few days afterwards. For the second surgery, an intern doctor was doing the procedure. The surgery wasn’t quite as comfortable but the recovery has been excellent. The duration of the surgery seems to be from ten to twenty minutes depending on the doctor who is doing the procedure, but the wait time at the hospital is usually much longer. 

Some doctors will give the patient a mild sedation before operating but in most cases the area is just frozen. The eyelid is held back as the doctor removes the damaged lens and inserts a new clear lens. Lyle said that the hardest part was keeping his eye open and looking at a very bright light during the procedure.

Since Lyle’s diagnosis of cataracts, we have become more aware of just how many people we know who have had cataract surgery. Cataracts are definitely more prevalent in an older generation but they can also develop in younger people. In an Australian study, we read that the condition is more common in people with brown eyes rather than blue. The study also reported that the condition can be accelerated by exposure to the sun.

Having said this, I have brown eyes and Lyle has blue eyes. I don’t have cataracts and now that Lyle has had his surgery, he doesn’t have cataracts any more either. I think that the lesson is that there are always exceptions to any medical rule and the best way to have peace of mind is to regularly have that important optical check up.

 

 

September 3 - Blind sports

 

It was winter when I first arrived in Canada – many years ago now. I remember wondering what people did to stay active in this land of ice and snow. Then I watched a competitive figure skating show on TV. I was enthralled. The skaters were so graceful as they glided around the ice. I knew that this was going to be my new sport.

The next day, I headed out to a sports store and bought a brand new pair of skates. I could hardly wait to get to the community ice rink to strut my stuff.  My friends watched with barely hidden amusement as I stepped out onto the ice, and then they burst out with laughter as I instantly fell onto my derriere. This was certainly not going to be as easy as the professionals I had watched on TV. I spent the next hour or so clinging to the wooden boards on the sides of the rink as I clumsily made my way around the edge of the outdoor rink.

I learned a lot about sports that day. Although I did try out my skates a few more times, I never came close to becoming even mildly proficient. What was needed I decided was a bit of natural talent or ability, an enjoyment of the sport, and practice. I was both unwilling and unable to meet any of these requirements.

As well as the above, a blind athlete should also consider the practicality of location or perhaps some form of assistance. For instance, a blind golfer might need a ride to the golf course or a blind lawn bowler might need a sighted guide to explain distance to the jack.

With blind sports, there are other additional restrictions. While blind and visually challenged athletes can be found in many, many sports, there are some that are a no go. For instance, race-car driving is out of the question. Playing squash would be almost impossible.

Since becoming partially sighted, I have stayed active but have become more realistic in which sports I choose. For instance, I no longer play tennis, but I thoroughly enjoy my time at the local swimming pool. I will never become a professional athlete but I am full of admiration for those athletes who pursue their chosen sport. Either I know, or know of, visually challenged athletes who climb mountains, downhill ski, play golf, wrestle, ride a tandem bike, are part of a dragon boating team, or part of a Goal Ball team. BTW – Goal Ball is a team sport designed especially for players who are blind.

I have been prompted to write all this following a day last week, when Lyle, our daughter and granddaughter went on a long bike ride together. We don’t own a tandem bike and since I don’t feel safe on a bike alone I didn’t go. I felt quite nostalgic as I watched the three of them ride off down the street. However, I captured the moment in the picture that follows.

The family going on a bike ride